Sunday 14 February 2010

To pee, or not to pee?

Forget Hamlet's question of "To be, or not to be". I've discovered a more important one. "To pee, or not to pee". Anyone who has had to use a public toilet in Saigon will know what I'm talking about.

The public toilets (even in cafes and restaurants) range from very nice to just plain nasty. I'm talking the kind of nasty that'll make you risk permanent kidney damage by holding on for a few more hours (or days) until you get home. Most places don't have the traditional sit-down Western style toilets either. They have a squat pan built into the floor. Not so easy to keep pants and long shirts dry when the floor is wet.

The nicest one I've seen was in a nightclub in District 1 (the city centre). They had an attendant that hands you a wad of toilet paper as you go in. Toilet paper is a rare commodity in public toilets here. Usually you just have a spray jet on the end of a hose and nothing to dry yourself with. Believe me when I say that is not a good feeling walking around with a wet crotch.


Sunburnt Aussie Lesson # 1: Always carry a travel pack of tissues everywhere you go.

The worst toilet I have seen was in a roadside cafe. My son went in first. When he came out, the look on his face told me that I was not going in after him. He said it was so bad that he peed from the doorway. He was not going any further inside than that.

Using a toilet in the countryside is an adventure in itself. The above photo shows the typical set-up. It's basically just two logs across a big fish pond with a box in the middle. This box is to give you an illusion of privacy and also something to hold on to so you don't fall in. Trust me, you do not want to fall in. This one was actually quite sturdy but I've used ones where it has been a struggle not to lose your balance. Thank God for my years of gymnastics training. The box is only knee high so you really only get privacy once you are in the position. Getting into the position without flashing the world is another matter. On my first trip over, I was using one of these loos, when the neighbours kids all came outside to play. They're waving and calling out "Hello" while I'm trying to work out how to get my jeans back up without flashing everyone. Great!!!

Sunburnt Aussie Lesson # 2: When travelling in the countryside, where a long dress or skirt wherever possible. It is the only thing that will allow you girls to retain any modesty and dignity in this situation.

Hope you all enjoy my first post. Please let me know what you think and I'll be back with more tales from Saigon soon.
xx

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